Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Yom Kippur at the River

"True, you can't see what you can't see, Holland, you can't hear what you can't hear, and you can't feel what you can't feel. But still, you can know that you're not alone, that you're adored, and that absolutely everything will continue to work out for your very best, as it always has.
It's built into your DNA -
The Universe"

Hope said that there’s something comforting about ritual (in her blog, That was so interesting because the first thing I wanted to do while fasting for Yom Kippur was go to the water and throw bread crumbs. I didn’t throw them because bread is expensive, but I did go to the water. I made a mix of music that was spiritually relevant to me, found the perfect spot (well, two spots: I faced one way for the beginning – past reflection – and 180’d for the end – future goals). I chanted and thought about what I didn’t do well and how I could improve. I cried a little and smiled a lot. I sung along to many of the songs. I basically had my own little service and I wrote some things down, first of which: If I had my way, all religious activity would begin and end with Shechechyanu. I wanted to take pictures, but I thought that was not appropriate. The water here is gorgeous and makes me feel at home. The swans were out and I could see the old churches and buildings among the luscious greenery. I will always be happy I took the time to do that, even if I was starving the whole time.

I broke my fast at the globe, where they had a screening of our first films. Seeing myself on film was not as scary as I was expecting it to be. I think I put on too much blush, but who’s counting, right?

I just liked the fact that I had something to see. I guess I didn’t REALLY believe them when they said we’d be making films this semester. I don’t know WHAT I was expecting, but I kinda thought I’d show up to a big scam, that the school wasn’t real and I’d just take the semester off. That probably explains why I’ve felt so weird being here for so long. I mean, yeah I miss everyone and stuff, but like I don’t think I REALLY. BELIEVED.

That’s the buzz word for the day: BELIEVE.


  1. what a great way to spend YK. i'm glad it was so meaningful! the info desk misses you :-)

  2. Hahaha, I love the idea that you didn't actually think you'd be MAKING FILMS AT FILM SCHOOL! :D This is why I wish you and Zach were, like, good friends. You could MENTOR ONE ANOTHER!

    Sounds like a good Yom Kippur. I broke fast at 3pm with a bit of peanut butter, and quickly went back to being an arrogant jerk. So much for atonement and fresh starts. Yours sounds much more wholesome and spiritually cleansing.

    I really like the lake by my flat, too-- I will take you when you visit. The ducks are my boyfriends for the semester.