Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Internet is a Goddess. People are nice, too.

GOD DAMN. How did I ever get along without the internet? I think that's the eternal question. Then again, I wasn't traveling random eastern european countries when I was FIVE.

So, instead of cataloging everything I've done, I wanna talk about New Beginnings. Sounds corny, right? Well, it's something I'm getting a CRASH COURSE in here. College was the first time I lived away from my parents and I gained some very important life skills that I wouldn't have learned if i hadn't been on my own that way. Now, I'm in a completely different country with expensive phone calls and mail so it's even more distance and difference.

Here's what I've learned so far:

First and foremost: I absolutely ADORE children. They are not judgmental and they are full of Love. They are the most honest human beings, which I've learned by making faces at children who don't speak my language: they either find it funny and laugh or don't find it funny and stare at me like a crazy person. However, they don't think I'm crazy because I speak English or because I have bright red hair. They've simply decided I'm not funny based on the action I just took. If I took another action they found funny, then I'd be a funny person. I've learned that, for many reasons, I want to work with children.

Next, I've learned that there are a few things I always do in a new place. First, I fall in Love. I want to stay there forever because it's so fantastically different than my 'old home.' Second, there is always the Crying Period. This is the first time I cry in my New Home. It usually happens about 4-5 days after I arrive, since the first days are all about finding some kind of grounding based on whatever I'm required to do there. Third, there is a point where I've become comfy with those around me and I need to learn how to be alone without feeling lonely or getting down on myself. That's where I'm at right now.

I've also learned that Dance is a universal language. You can be speaking to me in gibberish, but the movement will speak for itself: the story will be told. On that note. I've been writing and rewriting this for the past couple of days and I wanted to share that tonight, Tuesday September 29th, I took an African Dance class. In Prague. WHOA, right?!?!?! It was absolutely fantastic and reminded me how universal the language of dance is. Now I NEED to find an MMA class because that will REALLY cure the homesickness!

Lastly (or of right now...), I need to remember a few things: I am lucky enough (and my dad will tell you this in a heartbeat) to be waking up, everyday, in a city I have never lived in before and may never be in again (possibly when I get rich and famous...). I get to experience something very rare here EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I get to explore my own psyche and how it works EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Beyond that (from something my beautiful girlfriend told me), I have a talent for reaching out to people I know and place I can go to get the help I need. Also (as a great man named Kyle Steven-Porter said to me in a letter), I am HOLLAND. FRIGGIN. HAMILTON...AND I CAN DO ANYTHING. Finally, (I know this because I am my mother's daughter) I am beautiful inside and out. Deep down, I know that's true and (as I was told by the brilliant Hope Rehak) no one else has to believe it but me.

Even in that, I know I have a huge array of support systems that I can grasp. I truly believe that Marina and I would drop everything if one was desperate for help. I know that I can always talk to Daniel as if there was no time between the last time we spoke. Grandma Iris WILL be around for coffee. Grandma Freddie loves to talk on the phone with me. I will receive calls and cards and most, importantly, Love that surpasses distance from all of my aunts and uncles. My 'little sisters,' Kia and Tara, will constantly remind me that friendship defies age and I will always have the most amazing gift of being able to pass on anything I've learned in the short year there is between us. I don't know how it happened, but I have a HUGE amount of friends at Oberlin, including Sam, Marysia, Hannah, Meredith, Erica, Ellie, Donnie, Heather, Kyla, Caitlin...and the list goes on!...and, despite what I fear, they're not going to forget me. Last, but MOST certainly not least, I have a big sister, who, while she's 9 hours behind me right now, misses me like crazy and reminds me that I have someone older to shine the light down the road.

Just reminding myself of all of these people (and believe me, this is NOT an exhaustive list!) - reminds me that, there will be a day when someone in the Prague Film School is part of my 'support group.'

I can't wait to see what happens next...

1 comment:

  1. You don't know how it happened that you have tons of friends in Oberlin? IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING. Do not EVEN doubt yourself and your wonderfulness. We love you so much. SO MUCH.

    And as per usual, I'm super proud of you, and it's amazing that you're learning all these things about your life, and your relationships, and the way you operate as a person.

    Love love love.